Captain: So does anyone know of someone who can do face painting for the kids?
Me: *raises hand*
Captain: Yes, you know someone?
Me: No, I can do it.
Captain: Really? That's great.
Me: I can also do balloon animals, if you're interested.
Captain: *pause and weird stare* Um, yeah, that would be great.
*more talking about plans and setup*
Captain: And we're going to have a cotton candy machine dropped off at x:xx time.
Me: Sir, is there someone who knows how to operate the machine and spin the candy?
Captain: I hope so, they're supposed to show us how it works.
Me: Because I know how to do it, if you need help.
Captain: Are you a Carny?
Sergeant: You look like a Carny! (joking)
Me: Small hands, smell like cabbage.